The New Chapter Begins

David lies quietly on our Haven House bed, slowly breathing in and out as if he is contemplating the next step in his journey and as if he knows he must ration his strength. He looks so grown up and so handsome with his little pre-pubecent mustache and his newly short haircut. He looks like his daddy and I know his daddy has his back today.

As I watch him....I can't help but think of all the things this little man has been to me and others since even his conception. He was first and foremost....the baby we didn't know we could or would have. He came on the heels of a very sad miscarriage. We had no idea we would get pregnant again, but once we knew he was on his way....we were over the moon. Then he became the child we didn't know whether God would let us keep or not. So many months of up hill climbing only to be knocked down again and again. But he fought and he survived and more importantly......thrived! Then he was the one person that seemed to hold a grieving family together when his daddy died. He then became the little man who made my mother fight to live and to endure radiation and chemo. He was the one person who could make her smile and rally in those last months. Then he became one of my reasons for going on after Tim and Mom were gone. I knew I had to be there for my kids and most especially this special little gift God had bestowed upon me. Since....David has been many a bright spot in my days, he has been the source of much laughter and many many smiles. He has persevered and exceeded through all put in his path. He has made those whose lives he has touched better people and he has gained a fan club of hundreds. He is all these things and more which literally make him larger than life....and yet....here and now he looks so small and contemplative. He is now what he has always been. He is my baby.

I forced myself to sleep last night knowing that it might be my last good nights sleep in awhile. Though I awoke several times to check on David....I did sleep. In fact I was so tired that apparently I left our key in the door as I had a note shoved under the door telling me so this morning. Good thing I am in a relatively safe place! David seemed to sleep well and fell asleep quickly as he had a long and somewhat boring day yesterday with no naps to break up the monotony. Each time I would open my eyes during the night....I could hear the slow, steady and mostly reassuring sound of his breathing and I tried to relish his quite slumber as neither of us may have a complete and restful night for some time to come. 

I do not know if David understands what is about to happen. I think he knows things are going to change. I tried to talk to him last night and as I did....he began to pinch me (something he does when he gets frustrated or uncomfortable). It was almost as if he was trying to tell me...."I don't want or need details! I will just take it as it comes....like I always do!" I finally gave up the explanation and just resorted to tickling him and listening to him laugh. 

At 9 a.m. we will be shuttled to Shriners and there our journey will truly begin. I am ready and packed and as I looked in the mirror this morning I saw a tired and worn woman. It was as if I had aged years in the last few months. Was it a true picture of how I look or was it just my inner turmoil and worry manifesting itself in the mirror? I have no idea. I just know that no matter how I have tried to prepare myself for what is to come....I can't! I have no idea what his pain will be like or how he or I will handle the upcoming hours, days and weeks. I guess I am like David. Don't give me details. I will just take it as it comes!

I do know that even with David's issues.....we have been terribly blessed. Other than one shunt revision and his seizures, his health has been extraordinarily good. He hasn't had multiple surgeries and for the most part, his immune system is good enough that he doesn't catch everything that comes along. And we are blessed that this surgery is a life enhancing surgery which will hold new opportunities, possibilities and much more independence for him. I am excited and terrified all in the same breath. 

So today....right now....we wait. Soon our shuttle will be here and we will be on our way to a brand new chapter in the life of the Incredible Mr. David. Good thoughts are welcomed, prayers desired and I will let you all know when the surgery is over. Be sure and watch facebook for updates.