And So it Begins..........

And so it begins.........

Today we fly out to St. Louis to begin a life changing adventure. It will be an adventure because quite honestly.....I have no idea what twists and turns this event is going to take. I am reassured that Davids surgery comes on the heels of Holy Week. Easter marks a new beginning and so does this surgery.

I should actually be running through my house picking it up and making sure everything is in order (which nothing in my house is even close to being in order)....but I have been running for weeks now, so instead I decided to blog and perhaps clear my mind a bit. We are leaving without having a hospital bed in place or home healthcare. I have been working on both of these for weeks now but have no definites as of yet. I am hoping that I can get these deals done while I am at Shriners.

My mind is a jumbled mess with all that is going on. I have tried to cram my life so full of busyness lately so that I really wouldn't have time to think about this whole thing. When I stop though....the thoughts and fears creep in. I am absolutely terrified of everything from the plane ride (never been in a small plane and I am not sure how David will do), to the surgery, to his pain and finally to my ability or lack there ofto give him everything he needs to get through all of this.

When we found out we would be having surgery in St. Louis I was really relieved. We have a lot of family there and I remember thinking that for once I would not be going through something with David alone. Last night though....I realized that even if every family member I have was there, I would still feel alone. As a parent it is just me and my child when it comes right down to it and no one else...no matter how hard they try can step in to ease what he and I are going through together. We both have our parts to play and no one can make it any easier or any less painful for either of us. It is a hard road but one that I know must be traveled to get to where we need to be.

Aside from the fear....I feel so extremely blessed. The generosity people have shown us from the financial to the spiritual has been amazing. People stepped up and bought cheesecakes like crazy helping me to put aside money so that I can see to all of Davids needs following surgery (some of which are not covered by insurance). Many have offered up prayers, Masses and Holy Hours for David and now people are making sure that after we come home there will be meals and physical help when home healthcare is not available. Even more astonishing is that some of these "gifts" are coming from complete strangers or people I only know through facebook. It has been an amazing (yes I use that word a lot when referring to these last few months) lesson in the generosity of the human spirit. We are truly blessed and I can never thank those who have helped us get to here....enough. All I can say is that I promise whenever given the chance....that I will pay it forward to the best of my ability!

It seems so strange to finally be at this point in the journey. In such a short time we have gone from not knowing anything about Shriners, to waiting on an appointment and fearing we couldn't be seen because of seizures, to getting a surgery date and now finally we are here. Our life has changed so dramatically in the first quarter of this year and as far as I can tell.....it has all been for the good. I am not unrealistic though....I know that the tough part of the journey still lies ahead and that the next two weeks will likely be the part that holds the most trying and difficult leg of the journey for David and for myself (no mother deals well with seeing their child in pain).

So we are as prepared as we are going to be. David has his new "sheared" haircut, we are packed and we are waiting for our ride to the airport. I keep telling myself that the minute the surgery is over....we are on our way to recovery and David is on his way to a new more independent and mobile life. I believe this and I have complete faith that God would not have brought us to this point without something very special in mind for my little man. I also know that from the minute Shriners was mentioned to me by Jill Cook....the situation was never in my hands. From that point on...it has always been in Gods hands...and you know it has done quite well there, so I think that is exactly where I will leave it!

I will try to keep up this blog during our stay in St. Louis and even after. Who knows someone else out there may eventually need the information and lessons David's journey holds. I also know that there are many who want to hear how he is doing and as I said....I will try to keep this and facebook updated.

Well....it is time to go. I am stuffing my fear and anxiety and putting it all in Gods hands. If you pray why worry.....and if you worry why pray? And off we go.....