A little over twenty-one years ago, I was thrust into a world where even if you see it coming, you can't prepare for it and if you don't see it coming, you can't even imagine surviving it. I had a baby that was only 27 weeks along gestationally and due to a placenta previa, his birth was both traumatic for him, and also life-threatening for both of us. To put it simply, both his and my guardian angels were working overtime that night and I am sure, they had to call in reinforcements. His entrance into this world, however, touched, and dare I even say, changed, all who worked on him and loved him, and all these years later, he is still having that effect on all who work with him and love him.
Of course, I am referring to the Incredible Mr. David.
Funny thing, but when you are focused on certain things in life, and I mean truly focused, you don't often have time to see the forest for the trees. You become pretty obsessed with where your focus lies, and you can't hardly see anything else, including the passing of time. I just realized the other day, that for the last 21 years, I have been extremely focused on an almost single-minded in the upbringing of David, and I have not properly prepared myself for him to hit one of the biggest (and maybe for him THE biggest) milestones of his life. David is graduating from high school tomorrow, and I am so not prepared.
Yes, of course, I knew in theory that graduation was on the horizon, but I never focused on the reality because there were just too many variables to allow myself the inevitability of such a milestone. Instead, I stayed focused on the day-to-day, especially when the day-to-day often held challenges that might impede David from getting to that coveted milestone.
For those of you who know and have followed David's story, there have been no guarantees in life for David since he took his first breath. For those of you just meeting David, I invite you to go back and read the past blog pieces here. It has been a bumpy ride at times. In essence, though, David was born extremely premature with many health issues. He was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and a list of lifelong chronic issues that had the potential not only to hold him back but also to take his life at any time. His rather rough entrance into this world, ended him up in the NICU for five months, each day more precarious than the next. So many times we were warned that the likelihood of him surviving, let alone going home was nil. Miraculously though, he did come home.
Not long after David came home before he even got to truly know his dad, we lost his dad to a brain aneurysm and from that moment on, it was me and only me left to take care of him and ensure that he not only continued to survive but also to thrive, and over these last twenty-one years, that is all that I have focused on. Some of my efforts have been better than others, but through it all, here we are today, on the cusp of him becoming a high school graduate. It is almost overwhelming to look back and see where we started and to now gaze upon where we are in this moment.
Through the years, I have had so many people say, "Lisa...look at what you have done," or "He wouldn't be here without you." The truth is though, that while I may have given him roots, so many others have helped him grow into the strong young man he is, and let's not forget David's own tenacity and strength. He started fighting the moment he was created and to this day, he has never stopped.
The day I lost my husband, I thought I had lost everything, but most especially, my rock and support where raising David was concerned. A year later, I lost my mom (David's biggest fan next to me) and it was then that I felt truly alone. How had God entrusted such a soul as David with me, and left me to do it all on my own? Of course, He had not left me to do it alone. I soon realized that I had friends who would become family, along with therapists, doctors, and even complete strangers who would become friends step in and step up at times when I needed them most, whether I realized it or appreciated it at the time.
David started in our local primary school at 3 years old. At the time, he pretty much just laid on his back and other than some rudimentary attempts at crawling, he really didn't do much. By the time he left the primary school, he had a wheelchair, a walker, and he was walking all over the school and had begun to learn to communicate. This was all in great part due to his teacher Brenda Martin, his speech therapist Micki Mason, and his Physical Therapist Valerie Wondra, not to mention all the amazing para's who worked tirelessly with him (Diane Ellis, Terri Lander, Rita Snider, and so many more).
Once out of the primary school, we had our ups and downs with school, mostly because from day one I was told that since David was non-verbal, I was his voice. I had to make sure his needs were always met and that his voice was heard, and I took this job very seriously. Because of this, I was not a favorite of every school administrator, nor every teacher or para that crossed his path. There were times when I would walk into a school and see a teacher or admin who would literally turn and walk the other way to avoid me. Through it all though, he once again came in contact with some amazing people including his long-time para Niki O'Daniel, Sandy Phillips, and Cindy Ramsey, just to name a few.
It wasn't until David hit high school though, that the changes really began. He was originally blessed with a teacher named Mallory Ashworth. Mallory met David daily with joy and was constantly willing to go above and beyond to help David succeed, whether this meant getting extra training or going to a P.T. appointment with us. She was amazing and she will never know the gratitude I have for her care and love of David. Then, a year into high school, there was a complete change over in David's teachers and para and boy did he hit the jackpot. He had Alisa Pittman as his teacher who refused to see David as anything other than amazing and capable and Tony Shrubshall as his para who has given him the ability to soar in both the classroom and in life. Oh, the places he has gone since that day. He has learned to be so much more independent, and self-sufficient and he is also getting pretty proficient at sign language. He also has other amazing staff working with him such as Carol, Micki, and our beloved friend and bus driver, Bob, just to name a few. Without all of these people working so hard to help him succeed, I simply don't know where we would be.
Let's also not forget all of you who read David's Facebook page and mine, as well as this blog, who pray for David, cheer David on in all of his accomplishments, helped us to save his home, and most importantly, those who see him as the amazing individual he has turned out to be.
So, as I said, I have given David roots, but all of you have given him the wings to fly and become the man that no ceiling could ever hold in.
Now, tomorrow, I will go and watch my youngest, the focus of my last 21 years, do something that I dare not even dream he could or would. Tomorrow, David Elam will graduate and suddenly, the woman who always remains stoic and unaffected (except in a crisis), is about to fall apart. I am overwhelmed looking back on the journey and reflecting on all who have been there along the way, both through the amazing and the not-so-amazing. I find myself unbelievably grateful and even a little terrified as both he and I will be starting a new chapter in our lives.
Thank you all for your kindness, prayers, understanding at times, and your constant ability to let David and I know that we are not alone and that we not only have friends and family behind us but also a wonderful community of individuals who always seem to have our back and cheer us on regardless of the current crisis. Thank you just doesn't seem adequate....now does it?
Fear not, there will be more. As I said, we will be moving into a new chapter, with new stories and insights and I will keep you posted both here and on Facebook. So until next time..........
HAPPY GRADUATION DAVID!
