Get Ready for...The Incredible Mr. David 2.0

Next week will be the end of what by all intents and purposes is David's junior year. That means one more year and he graduates. It is almost more than I can even imagine. It is such a blessing and yes, a miracle since almost 21 years ago, there was great doubt that he would even make it out of the NICU. To have him graduating high school is just the biggest gift. 

At this point, I can't even think about what comes after high school for him, and if I have learned nothing else in the last couple of years, I've learned that I don't have to worry about what lies beyond high school right now. All I have to concern myself with is this moment and in this moment, I just feel such a sense of gratefulness. 

I have had so many people tell me that David would not be where he is without me. Well, maybe there is some truth in that, but not how you might think. The reality is that David came without an instruction manual, therefore, for the last 20 years, I have flown by the seat of my pants. Sometimes I had some idea of what I was doing, but much of the time, I was pretty clueless and was basically praying my way through it all. It has been a real roller coaster ride since day one, but without David being who he is as a person and a human being, we would never have made it.  

Now as I look ahead to the summer that is about to be on us, I find myself wanting to cram as many adventures and experiences into the next couple of months as I can. It is that whole, "My baby is about to be a senior," thing. Even though he is twenty, he still feels like my little boy and something mentally in me says that once he graduates, he will then be a man. The dynamic will then change. 

The other day I was thinking about my boy and how I used to pray every day that David would be able to walk on his own and talk and be able to get the most out of life that he could. It dawned on me though, that walking and talking are really not all that important in the big scheme of things. What is important is that David is able to live his best life, and truly I think he is, and he does, and honestly, what more as a mother, could I ask for?

If you are an Incredible Mr. David blog reader, now might be the time to get those glasses shined up and ready for reading this summer and next year, because I hope to be able to document his summer adventures and his last year of school right here.  I know with his wonderful teacher Mrs. P and his amazing para Ms. T, they are going to ensure that his senior year is the best one ever. I also hope for him not only to wheel himself across the stage to get his diploma but also for him to be able to go to prom. I mean...why not? 

I know that being the mom of a special needs child may be looks difficult from the outside looking in and a lot of people think to themselves, "I could never do that," but the truth is, being David's mom has been one of the greatest honors of my life. He has brought me so much joy and happiness and he has taught me so much about life and love, that I never knew existed or was possible. Truthfully, if I have any redeeming qualities as a parent or a human being, most of them are because of David and what he has brought to my life and the lives of those he touches. 

So be prepared folks. You will likely be seeing a whole lot more about David in the coming year, as a lot of big stuff and milestones will be happening,  and I hope you are gentle with me for all the posts and blogs you will likely be inundated with. It is just, that when you bring a child into this world that has a 5% chance of making it and the first three months of his life, his condition is beyond critical, and his prognosis is poor, then you have to understand that David coming so far is a bonafide miracle and it is something that deserves celebrating....and celebrate we will! 

Until next time......I hope your last days of school are fun, your first days of summer are amazing, and that you are ready for The Incredible Mr. David 2.0!

 

Ms. T, Sign Language, and Absolute Quiet

I have learned many things over the years as the mother of David. I have learned that what I once considered a "normal" and basically uneventful milestone for some kids, is a reason for celebration, possibly a party, and definitely gratitude for others. I have learned that being your child's voice, neither makes you liked nor listened to at times, by people that should, but it can make you feared if you take the job seriously. I have also learned that sometimes words are overrated and that you can become fluent in your child's way of conversing, even if it's not through vocalization. I think though, the most important thing I have learned is that no matter how old he gets, there are still literally thousands of things I still have yet to learn and things that even at this point, I have never even thought about. 

This was brought home to me not too long ago when I was having a conversation with his school para, Ms. T. Now this para is a one in a million. She has only been with David for about two years, but she is very intuned to him and can second guess what his needs are before he even knows what his needs are. She and his teacher Ms. P, are very determined that in the year David has left in school, that he is going to learn as much as he can and take away from school all the skills and life lessons he can in order for him to have the best future and the best possible life after high school. Now you may understand why I say we have scored when it comes to paras! 

One day, Ms. T. was telling me about all the new sign language that David is learning and that she needs to show me so that David and I can converse more easily. Through her ability to get the craziest things from him, and his brain being willing to receive new information from her, together they have hit a sweet spot and he is learning so much. Through sign language or his version of sign language, since with his cerebral palsy he has some issue with some of the signs, David is a lot less frustrated because he is being understood and he is feeling much more independent being able to instigate a conversation, need or want. It is like opening a door for him that has been shut for the last 20 years. It's really rather miraculous if you think about it. 

While we were talking about sign language, Ms. T. went on to talk about how she was also teaching him cues to be quiet at certain times. David? Quiet? So a little back information, David has never been a particularly quiet child. I think it kind of goes with his disabilities and also that because he is non-verbal, his vocalization is important to him. He has always been loud and excited when he sees people, when there is music playing or when he is in a new place. He also knows how to read a room and the acoustics in a room. If he knows he is in a place where sound will carry, such as a gym or say.....a church...during Mass, he is going to test those acoustics to the fullest. He has also always been pretty vocal on the school bus, but I had noticed of late, that I couldn't hear him on the bus when it was coming down the street like I used to be able to. So David...learning to be quiet. Cool!

According to Ms. T, she is teaching him to be absolutely quiet at certain times and in certain places (like the school bus) by using cues from her. Bonus.....he is listening and paying attention. He is actually being quiet. Then she told me why she was teaching him this, and I couldn't decide whether my heart would burst with gratitude, or if I was just in shock. 

Ms. T. is teaching David to be quiet on cue, in case there is ever a school shooter. 

If that last sentence stuns you, then leaves you silent, and then gives you a total sense of, yes.....that is hugely important, then you will know how I felt when she said it. It is something so important in the world we live in, but something that I am not sure I had ever really thought about. It was one of those things I know I should have thought about, but sometimes I think my brain will simply not allow those kinds of thoughts in. It was definitely a lesson in preventative measures and David's safety. 

I won't lie, I have had a couple of horrific nightmares since Ms. T. and I had that conversation, but in my waking hours, when common sense overrides the nonsensical aura's left behind from the nightmares, I realize that Ms. T. is giving David a dose of self-preservation, a little bit of independence and she is also opening him up to many more opportunities in the world where quiet is necessary.  Did I mention, that he is actually listening and paying attention to Ms. T.'s instructions and cues and he is being....quiet?!

Sometimes in this life, we just click with people, and because of the bond we form, we can achieve things we never knew were possible or that we even wanted to. That seems to be the case with Ms. T. and David. Working with David, she seems to connect with him in a way that he both understands and he is willing to listen to. Because of this, she is in effect, changing both David's world and his life.....and she is also teaching his mother a few lessons along the way. 

To say that I am grateful to Ms. T and his wonderful teacher Ms. P, would be an understatement. Ladies.....if you happen to read this....thank you from both David and I.

Until next time.....may you challenge yourself, respect yourself and if you have a great teacher and/or para.....give them a really big hug.