School, Teachers and the Special Needs Child

This day certainly seemed like a better day in theory than it is turning out to be, however.....maybe we are just getting all the yucky parts out of the way early and the rest of the day will be bright and sunny! Yeah....I don't make a very good Pollyanna do I?!

I really wasn't sure what I was going to post about today as David is doing pretty well. We have got his seizure meds adjusted and he seems to be in a better mood now. We also have his Physical Therapy(PT) underway and he is doing very very well with it. There is really not much new here in Davidtopia to discuss, and that is a good thing. Therefore I was feeling at a bit of a blog loss....when I got a message from a lady telling me about her young son who among other things has seizures and she is having issues with a teacher taking this seriously. My blog just wrote itself at this point.

Not all special education teachers are created equally!!!! If you are a sped parent.....please commit this to memory. In the course of your child's education, you will have teachers that are simply amazing and teachers that you wonder how or why they ever even became teachers. David has had both and honestly and fairly, he has had more good than bad, however.....the bad ones do seem to overshadow the good ones. Sad...but true!

When your sped child starts into school, they usually will start early. David was started at 3 years old into the Early Childhood Education program at our school. At the time, they had mixed classes with sped kids and gen ed kids. The program was amazing because the teacher behind it was amazing. The belief was that if you mixed the kids early, gen ed kids would grow up around sped kids and there would be a greater understanding of disability for the gen ed kids. It worked as kids have always been very accepting of David and this is shone in their kindness and gentleness towards him even 11 years later.

Any classroom is only as good as the staff!!!! Something else that parents must commit to memory. Sped classrooms are made up of a teacher, para's and support staff such as PT, Occupational Therapy (OT), Speech and sometimes even a nurse depending on the physical severity of the kids in the room. If this team doesn't work together as a well oiled machine and have the best interest of the kids in mind, then this classroom is a fail right off the bat. Usually the teacher is leader and sets the stage for how efficiently the classroom is run. Uninvolved, under educated or out of their element teachers can make for a very long year for the other staff and a very unhappy year for the students....not to mention us parents.

Sped kids are not easy and even in a small class room of possibly 8 or less kids, there can be a multitude of different diagnosis's, personalities and physical issues which all fall under the head of special education and quite often they fall under one teacher. There can be higher functioning kids, lower functioning kids, seizure kids and kids with oxygen and feeding tubes all in the same class room. This is why para's are so important. They are the constant companion of these kids and it is their responsibility to know when that kid is just acting out or if there is something really wrong, but in order for this to happen, the teacher has to make sure that the staff is properly trained. The only way this can happen is if the teacher makes it his/her business to know the kids inside and out and has a thorough background on each child. How does this happen? By listening to the parent!!!!

Granted, I know for every great sped teacher, there are always those parents who live in denial of their child's diagnosis, refuse to cooperate or simply are too overwhelmed to deal with it all. However, for every sped parent who is involved and fighting for their child's best interest, there is at least a handful of teachers, para's and specialty therapist who never should ever  be in a room with a sped child, let alone work with them. Because of this, sped parents have to be ever vigilant and always ready to fight for their child's best interest.

In David's 11 years in school, I have had several fights over staff and trust me, the schools do not like to back down. It takes work, research and a willingness to see the situation to the end, but usually....the best interest of the child wins out because I can wear someone down if need be. David will always come first and his best interest will always be served and quite honestly, from the beginning I was told that I would always be David's voice and his biggest advocate. I was told that it was not only my right but also my duty to stand up for David and to fight for him when his needs were not being met, he was not being treated right or his health was at risk. I took this very seriously and because of this, I am not the best liked parent in the district, but they know my concerns are never frivolous and if they are hearing from me, then there is a "real" problem that will be fixed. Even in my small town, I am not interested in being liked by the school district and staff, I am interested in my sons needs being served and I will do whatever that takes.

If you are a beginner sped parent, prepare yourself. You have to be involved with your child's education. Make it your business to know everyone in your child's classroom and on their team. Make sure your concerns are listened to and if your child has a feeding tube, seizures or other issues, you personally need to educate the staff on how to care for your child. They may have your child in their classroom, but absolutely no one knows your child better than you do. By setting this standard from the beginning, you help to promote the best school environment for your child that is possible. You also give the staff a subtle reminder that you are a constant presence in your child's life and that little gets by you so if something isn't right......you will both know it and act upon it. Also, show up at your child's yearly IEP meetings and find your voice. You may have been a live and let live kind of non-confrontational sort of person before you had this child, but those days are gone. You need to give your child and his/her diagnosis and condition a voice. Without it, they may not be getting what they deserve in school nor even what they need. As their parent....you owe them the very best and sometimes that requires going to the mat for them.

I suggest that from the beginning, you get an advocate for your child and your family. An advocate can be a tremendous source of information for programs and assistance to help with your child's development and if you do have to battle your way through situations, an advocate should always be on hand. Davids advocate is through Rainbows United, but every town and state should have a Developmental Disability Organization in which sped kids can sign up and go through, throughout their lives. Early acceptance into these programs can assure space for them in programs later in life as there are years worth of waiting lists to get into some groups, programs and even funding.

Special needs kids don't come with a owners manual. Each kid is different as are their personalities and their diagnosis's. They require more attention, more care and parents that aren't afraid to fight for them in any situation necessary. While the life of a sped kid is not easy, the life of a sped parent can also be a bit challenging. However, at the end of the day.....I wouldn't trade a minute of David's life or what he has brought to mine, for an easier, less confrontational road. David is amazing and after all......he is the Incredible Mr. David! And there just ain't no topping that!!!