Much is going on in David's world right now. We are in a fast slide into a new school year and I am trying to get all our ducks in a row. Having a child with special needs makes herding those ducks a little tougher.
Of late, I have heard several comments a couple first hand and a couple second hand, about kids with special needs and it has concerned me. Two of the comments were from sped (special education) teachers. It seems that many feel that kids who are special needs (especially the delayed ones) have no real capacity to learn. Trust me, I am not shocked at this sentiment but it does concern me, especially when it comes from those who work in the field of special education. So I thought I might shine a little first hand information on the subject of special needs and their ability to learn and understand.
When you are blessed with a special needs child.....and I say blessed because you have no idea how they will turn your world inside out and very literally make it a better place and you a better person.....then you throw all preconceived notions about "normal" out the window. Normal becomes a word with more meanings than you ever knew possible.
Many make judgments on a persons mental capacity or ability to learn by how they look or act. David for instance looks healthy but because he is non-verbal (for the most part) and communicates by making noise rather than speaking, people assume he is much worse off than he actually is. I have had teachers, friends and even family underestimate his ability and even write him off as retarded because their view of him is less than normal. Perhaps I would have too in another time and place. As his parent though, I have learned that what lies in his non-verbal mind is far more than any of us could possibly imagine.
While I can't speak for all delayed kids, I can speak from experience about David. David's mind never stops and though he may be behind in what he learns....he is always learning. He understands far more than anyone gives him credit for and he is very determined when he wants someone to understand him. He understands humor, emotion and pain and uses all the above to manipulate both people and situations when trying to be understood. He is so smart in fact that years ago he learned to fake a seizure and has used that several times at school when he didn't want to do a task. Of course I can tell a real one from a fake one and I had to clue the school in and teach them the difference too. THAT is not the mind of a child incapable of learning.
As I said, people underestimate David and his ability to understand. He understands EVERYTHING that is said both to him and about him. There have been times when individuals have spoken negatively about David and ended up getting pinched or flat out hit and wondered why. They learn quickly that non-verbal and non-understanding are two different things.
At school, David is suppose to be taught functional tasks. Functional meaning tasks that have a beginning, middle and end and the end should be functional such as the steps in brushing your teeth, buttoning your shirt or putting a key in a lock and opening it. David does very well with functional learning and it takes very few tries for him to master these things. However, there have been times when he has been given busy work with no functionality or meaning to his life and he will call BS on it every time. He will try any task once but if he realizes there is no purpose in it, he loses interest immediately and will refuse the task. He will put his head on his hand and close his eyes....signalling that he is done and he doesn't forget either. Try to come back and do that task later and he will take the same attitude and stance again. You would think people would learn.
I have learned that a weak body doesn't mean a weak mind and a mind that works slower in some areas can out think a "normal" mind in other areas. With David, his mind and body often work together. As he gets more agile with his body, his mind also takes on more and becomes more active. His seizures have also at times been a blessing in disguise. As much difficulty as his seizures have put him through over the years, they have also sparked learning. We have seen him do new and different things immediately post seizure. The seizure sets off a light bulb of sorts in is brain that causes new skills. It really is something good coming out of something bad!
Special needs has many faces and many components from the physical to the mental and sometimes a combination of the two. To judge a person without knowing them, special needs or not is always a travesty and speaks more of your character than their disability. In the case of David, well....it can get you pinched or flat out ignored depending on the circumstance. I have learned that regardless of the person or their needs....special or otherwise, treating them as we ourselves would like to be treated.....with dignity and respect...... usually gets you the best results in just about any situation.
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